Fall and Autumn

Fall is that time when routines set in that won't be changing until Summer. There is a sense of schedule that begins to take shape for each week. On one hand I crave the predictability and assurance of a certain pace (busy!) but also feel that I buck against the constant sameness of it.
It's an inner paradox where each side battles for my allegiance. (so dramatic I know) I want to be flexible and fluid yet I continue to recognize my own need for limits and boundaries. (like when I accidentally schedule 3 overlapping things in one day)

On one side I see, Autumn, the peaceful, serene woman in a flowing skirt and minimal make-up. When you come over to visit she is sitting with her children having an engaging discussion about topics of great importance and finding a way to involve each one in the way they can most relate. You are welcomed with a smile and and a glass of ice water. (because honestly that's all the I have right now since I delayed going to the store in lieu of the incredible conversation we were having.)

On the other side is Autumn, the 'has-it-all-together-and-then-some' lady. She knows exactly what she needs to buy at the store because her list is always up to date and she has all her meals for the next month planned in advance. When her kids ask for a snack she has an array of healthy options and when a visitor pops in unannounced she can offer several options for refreshments. (I could even offer you and your family dinner on short notice because my freezer is stocked with those kind of options.) She leaves enough margin in her schedule not only to brush her hair, but to spend the time needed to apply make-up (without even having to remove all the smudges from throwing on mascara in a hurry) Her clothes are never wrinkly or stained and she leaves enough time to actually arrive early to her appointments .... okay you get the idea, right?

I guess the desire is to have both, without forfeiting the things that you lose by having one or the other. I think my life really is a balancing act of these two and that's what makes me who I am. So this fall my desire is to just recognize and celebrate the areas I am doing well in and not bemoan the ones I am not, but discover ways to improve in those areas realistically.
This Fall I will embrace being Autumn.