Timelines

As I was driving the other day with my children in the back of the car I started thinking about
all the mistakes I was probably making with them.

I mulled over a few things I am aware of that are below my desired standard and then felt a little sick to my stomach as I thought of all the things I'm doing that I don't even know about.
I began to mentally list the things that I felt my parents could've done differently with me. The fears I had and the misunderstandings about God and his goodness that could've been alleviated with a few small insights. I started feeling panicky then, hoping that I wasn't revisiting some of these 'mistakes' on my kids and hoping they wouldn't face the same misconceptions and fears that I struggled with in my early adult years.

I thought about my mom and how tragic is was that in some of the very areas that she tried so hard we kids still ended up struggling. An almost helpless resignation came over me as I considered the fact that my kids will face struggles no matter how hard I try.

Just as my negative thoughts began to spiral out of control another thought 'dropped' into my head, Hey, wait a minute it's not all over! My mom is not out of the picture. She is still teaching me things to this day. Not only that but we are learning new things together now. Things that, as God reveals them, we share them with one another. Plus, as God sets her free in areas that she has walked in bondage there is a trickle down effect to us kids. (Sometimes even to the day of her revelation we get it too in another part of the country)

I 'saw' in my minds eye a picture of a timeline. I saw the 'entry' where I was born on one line and the line where my children were born below that. Over these lines hovered the line of my Mom's life and it was still strong and living!


It was such a vivid picture of how in God's kingdom family we can continue to grow and effect each other's lives for good even after the 'raising up' years. Wherever our 'lines' overlap we can be speaking into the lives of our children and our grandchildren too.
Even more amazing than that is the way God can work through this setup. It is crucial to keep seeking answers and healing as we grow older, not just for ourselves but because it will flow down to our children and even to their children.

So, much to my delight, a mental foray into my deepest fears turned into a huge blessing that day as the Lord showed me HIS perspective on these things.


(photo copyright Jessica Kalashnikov 2009)